buried treasure

In the event of their demise,

 when those beat boxes under left shoulders produce their last 16bars

 when my on again,

sometimes off again affair with music fails.

 clips of stolen moments and days to few pass by

 

 in my finally of replays,

 whispers of next lifetime will b expelled n my last revolting exhale...

Ill remember it beautifully,

 re-experience waiting patiently,

 ever so painfully

 

 revealing there is no  safe house

 I waited to long to take the bottle off the shelf,

 my remedy is gone....

 

 Accepting there is no cure for this heart-ache

 So I'm left with unjust memories

Ill revisit the creation inehbrieated-ly

 

 Allow my drunken heart to express the last traces of sober emotions left,

before closing the casket and putting destiny to rest...

leaving traces of purple kisses across their beautifully crafted mahogany chariots

 

  #darkdays

#coldflame

 #kismet

 #nxtlyftme

 #patientlywaiting

#hiphopvsr&b

mind sex

Ma let me make love 2 ya mentalz...
 let me talk 2 u sexually w/ scriptures
 get ya mind drippin' get it wet
 like u were dressed in nothing but lace

let me stroke u emotionally and touch whatz hidden deep within'
arouse u n ways u secretly keep from your girlfriends
let me take u 2 a level of intimacy....
that u have never reached b4

 allow me 2 counter attack your doubts and inhibitions about lust
 I mean your infatuation with being n luv
let me ride your curves and explore the depths of your soul
 grant me access 2 invade and make my home between your thighs
let my letters rape ya clit as u beg 4 more

my imagination paints immaculate pictures of our bodies
 together intertwined as one
as we experience more,
 more touching, more kissing
 and definitely more word fucking

 I can feel my verbs mixed w/ your nouns
 relax as I take over and explore your body...
I could get lost,
wrapped up w/u trapped n these phrases we use for love making ...

babi will u please let me?
 Let me feel u pulsating?
 let me hear how deep your yearning is?
your desire 4 me, mentally as well as physically?

 your moans letting me know we are near the beginning of my last versez end....
 as my tongue licks u verbally
I hear your screams getting louder
 sadly I know our final moment is coming
 where my lyrical adventure has CUM and made it 2 the end

Miscellaneous:

Dis misery holds me hostage,
 lethal injections of an unhealthy reality:

pretending 2 accept this dream-like feeling…
that which isn't stemming from my own inexperience
time passes by distastefully,
the minutes pass by slowly
hours last 4 eternity

the uncertainty sets in,
 makes its home in my pysche…
the hole, that resides in my heart….
.unrecognizable emotions, effortless scribbles of clearly just nonsense…

dis beautifully disastrous relationship….
let out through real frustration…l
hope viewed in future tense…

this sadness consumes me,
depressions eludes me…

irrational thoughts of an eternal sleep…
contemplating a quick suicide, through wrists cut so deep…
confusion misguides me….

So instead I bleed wit this bic…
dripping wit' BLUE ink

the insanity locked within me…

damn ya'll I surpass crying and live w/ battling the coldest misery
someone help me please!...

catch me kuz I'm falling
and have come 2 realize, this life thing got me failing miserably
insane emotions stemming from my own sad inability…

2 trust…
2 love fully…
4 ever praying like Hope's singing
"that the rain don't last"
but when it leaves
let it take w/ it the battles and heartbroken bruises from my past
bringing a new woman in me
one built strong enough 2 outlast the ridiculing…

dealing....

If I bite down any Harder my teeth will pierce completely through my skin..


my lips struggle trying to keep my emotions locked in

keep my mind occupied

keep my tear stained face from giving me away,

silently tho they still fall….

I miss him in ways the emotionally dis membered

only have strength to battle in their nightmares

the replica to my heartbeat now silenced

his being so far from my reach....

resting, now peaceful at 6ft

the new degrees of separation between he and I....

are breaking me

my screams of acceptance

deafening…

how did I end up here.

R.I.P KDB

self doubt

Don’t know that I can do this anymore


A couple days in silence

Allows my heart time to grow cold

Reinforce the brick walls

Keep loose lips from spilling

Secrets of sin

I’m learning to let u go

Before I ever, fully let u in…..

Confusion and disdain

Rain over my thoughts

I’m lost in the moment, and what it’s not…..

Treading through murky waters

Trying to remove ur scent from my skin

Ur heat from my core

Ur images from my memory

Our lack of communication

Is thickening

Rethinking things….

We once made floetry…

metaphysically…

images painted immaculately….

Wasn’t enough time to teach u how to

Read brail imagery…

Never been much of a mind reader,

Kept waiting to hear,

Words never uttered…..

Thought we were playing follow the leader

But u lead and are too stubborn to follow…..

It’s hard to catch u

When u keep me from seeing u fall

Security in these arms

Nothing could stop us

The limit was ours……

To be continued…..

responding....

*Flash*


Pause, rethink,

reinvent…

Let’s remember

This….



the past that can no longer be,

Expelled from my lips

Re-felt between my hips…



When did the tape fail,

So consumed by ur wings I missed seeing UR tail…..

Eyes wide shut, feeling blindly



How did we ruin such a DISATROUS fairytale,

We found its BEAUTY, in vain

There was supposed to be reinforcements on my SOLIDER’S frontline

INEVITABLY we ran out of time…..

They never came….



This EXPONETIAL equation no longer our fame,

Confused rhyme with reason,

Knew FIRE could never be tamed

Sensual AIR tried to kool the sheets

we set a blaze



left both hearts singed to the core,

seeking refuge

In another’s arms,

side liner’s……..One timer’s



Emotions subdued by an intoxications of the finest kind,



How did u lose track when u memorized these lanes

the scars in our timeline,

The curves have always been the same,

Same 2 way street

Same names…..



Here will always be home ….

sought out shelter in faith & pain …..



Thought the thief in u would sustain

always hold those MOMENTS

BUT u Allowed them to be STOLEN,

Now Only emptiness remains



When rightfully happiness should have been in plain view …..

U continued to veer right, chasing those invisible white lines

LEFt nothing to be remembered



ADDICTION they say of the strongest kind,

When I close my eyes

I can no longer hear the buzz, the hum of that machine

That had me scratching at my skin

trying to silence my own heartbeat



Does that mean after all this time

The healing has began?

Or Ended?

or simply.....

Was the real damage only in my mind?

flame shit

A2


Come follow me......

Enticed by my intrigue

craving her verbal penetration.....

this new found intoxication got me retracing past footsteps

question the accuracy of my emotional compass

and the misguided direction it has me following

this intuition...

this map…

got me lost, yet again at another mischievous dead end...(a2)

(a1)

in a maze of emotions. Amazing…

No compass or map will ever lead me, guide me to a moment of emotional truth like you

my heart taking a journey my body can't keep up with.

This dead end I seem to come to...

can I break thru?

the walls that keep me...

going in the same circle but in a different direction

drifting threw each other’s mysterious faze…

getting to know the woman behind her name