blue soul 10/08

it is my name tated across her heart...her lips
the tip of her tongue
 releasing every love felt syllable.....
as we kiss, our souls touch n ways shallow minds could never grasp
 we lay here chest to chest,
real against what used to reflect real
as we battle our surroundings... that are fake
our quicksand turning to useless dust,
never building bricks quite dense enough,
 to lay a great foundation down...
now a thick layer of ice covers the ground of our lovez basement,
 placed there to keep u and i out.....
i'll learn to live and love on n our disasters memory,
bkuz ill always rember the experience as it was....beautifully
...9&8

4 the love of loss of love

RANDOM THOUGHTS




History kals them jezebelz ........but.... I.....
I call them  my lovez......
the many women that have passed threw my life
 the good ones, the bad ones, the ones truely not worth my time
yet this addiction ties me to thier kiss
the warmth of  their touch...
her skin... Deraild my focus
left me curious deep within...

always leaving traces of her,
 retraced emotions on my skin,
never follwing the previous path
always leaving new scars
left for future tense to defend
replace, erase then try and start the focus again
never really looking,
continuosly searching,
she always seems to miss the warrior that's within
My  misguided footsteps

Infatutaion with just being in...
this,
this experince has so many unruly colors
 some like day, some like night
the crucial ones leaving me tongue tied....
caught aloof
fukd up and left on the sideline
 the wrong to my right of passage....
this vision
she is...

caugth me sleepin and slipped in under radar,
crept n from my blind side
reciting sweet nothings,
harshly re- felt during those cold nights.....
remincsing and allowing the memories to flood in
feeling that yearning to let her back in
 u cant fight fate mama,
 Its inevitable....
 Shit its this ink that I let settle n
and it won!

beautiful,
what will be, just will be
thats, that shit I have 2 recite daily
kuz I c it, etchd here in my skin

 that connection,
the blending that happens when
two souls learn to coincide
when things just mesh well together damn near all the time
see there it is again!
focus not sustained...

only time heals
and directs those that it believes in
 this entry is .....
misguided  with no real path to follow

I'm stuck,
 so this must have been the end?
 the tears that burn so strong,
from ducts I thought had long since been dried and gone
now relase the pain....

 in a silent and entricate song
 that unique ass beat under my left shoulder...
 I fight myself,
 but I know I gotta let it get gone
that verse,
that bluez,
that slow grind that plays 4 me
 has hit its last note and our chorus,
produced such an intense and in depth love song

I let it complete me.....
sadly all thats left is 6 letterz,
 and I allow them 2 defeat me ...

verbal fire

verbally arrested a hostage 2 my own metaphors
sitting back reviewing what was lost in my fire

burning from the emotional anguish within
replacing the physical pain for painted on happi faces
laughing at the previous attempts at infatuation

memories are just mental replays of past inexperience
w/ co-star's that were nothing more then temporary fixtures
 w/ a proven sorry existence
never permanent in my world

 I am living physical representation of my lyrics last scripture
quietly I can still hear the faint whisper

my soul is crying out
someday, someday
 my ideal counter part will arrive

it will b her being that completes my fatal stride....

then and only then
 can I quit with this relentless pursuit

interviews of these lames trying to win "her" star role....
but always falling short as "her" flunkyz understudy

never the strong enough queen I truly seek to represent  me

sadly its always their physical features used 2 try and allure me

 but already seen through their weak facade
used to try and mask their insecurities...

 never quite deep enough 2 cover up that which is truly she

nothing more then another failed attempt
at picking a decent woman from cupids
"thou has't learned to repent" list

yet again I’m left here waiting ever so patiently

until the real one arrives
the truth dwelling past the shallow outside
those lovely arms of hers will block out those cold and lonely nights

my shoulder to cry on
cuz even thugs have a hidden emotional side

I need her 2 have an easy versatility....
knowing how to be dominant n the ways needed to rule me

just enough of her own swag to compliment me perfectly

she has that confidence even in the sheets

knowing how to take hold controlling the aries fire in me!

baby b handlin' that shit kuz she knows that  she owns an important piece of me
 (my heart)

just as deeply as I own she
never  afraid to take hold of me

over my body she will always hold dominion

and sometimes she even lets me voice my sexual opinion...
(lol when she gives it to me)

 w/ every ounce of my being "she" will b intertwined
embedded so that with every breath I will exhale she....
and with her every beat she will expel me

we will b one,
 my imperfect perfection

that keeps me on a intolerable  high

someday...
(sigh)
I shall welcome my queen 2 her throne

until then I’ll continue to stay walled and play along
continuing
to b that mo'cka...always ice cold......

fire calaboration

You've burned this bridge beyond repair...


So now ur stranded, stuck drowning in love & despair...

some1 save me from myself....

so I do not double back to leave u tools of fond memories 2 rebuild this misery...

that keeps me hopelessly bound to you...

It suffocates as I do without loves air....

I'm buried alive while standing up in this, so slowly I die by the lie’s of loves deceit..

will u ever release me? from the façade im trapped in, this misleading infatuation...

confusing what is loves real representation, cupid is a merciful bastard & is punishing me for switching his

arrows, I wanted to exchange love for hate &experience for inexperience, so I could follow u blindly….

ignorance truely is bliss, when im so deeply consumed by a love like this...